Break the silence: Get your doctor to truly listen

Navigating the healthcare system can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, especially for those of us in the over 50s bracket. With the complexities of ageing and the potential for multiple health conditions, it’s crucial that our concerns are heard and addressed by our doctors. However, a common complaint among patients is the feeling of being rushed through appointments, or worse, feeling dismissed or gaslit by their healthcare providers.

The importance of being taken seriously by your doctor cannot be overstated. After all, you know your body better than anyone else, and when something feels off, it’s essential that your doctor listens and responds appropriately. But what can you do when you feel like you’re not being heard?

Experts have come to the rescue with some doctor-approved methods that can help ensure your medical needs are not overlooked during GP appointments. A recent video that went viral, with over 1.5 million views, shared invaluable advice for patients who struggle to get their point across in the limited time of a typical consultation.

The video, featuring Sex Education non-binary actor Robyn Holdaway and their wife Em, who has a chronic illness, ran through several phrases that have proven effective. One key phrase to use is: ‘This is having a significant impact on my quality of life.’ This statement underscores the severity of your situation and the need for it to be addressed.

Other phrases include: ‘It is keeping me from doing normal day-to-day activities,’ and ‘I have had to take time off work because of the symptoms I am experiencing.’ These comments help to convey the extent to which your condition is affecting your daily life.

It’s also recommended to ask your doctor to document their reasons for denying treatment and to request a copy of your medical records after the appointment. This not only keeps you informed but also ensures there’s a record of your concerns and the doctor’s response.

One particularly effective ‘cheat code’ for those who worry about being dismissed due to their size is to mention any symptoms that persist or worsen despite weight loss. This can prevent the doctor from attributing all health issues to weight and encourage them to look deeper into other causes.

For individuals with a complex psychiatric history, it’s advised to assert: ‘I’ve spoken to all of the people involved in my psychiatric care and they agree that this is not a psychiatric problem.’ This can help to steer the focus away from psychiatric causes when they are not relevant.

Communication is key, and it’s important to be clear about what you want to happen during the appointment. If you feel you need more specialised care, don’t hesitate to ask for a referral to a specialist or for a second opinion.

These strategies are particularly relevant given the findings of a 2024 Ipsos poll, which revealed that only half of UK adults felt they could discuss ‘everything’ or ‘most things’ during their last appointment with a family doctor. With the standard 10-minute appointment often being too short for an ageing population with complex health needs, it’s more important than ever to make every moment count.

Feeling unheard by your doctor can be frustrating and disheartening, but you’re not alone—and your experiences matter. Have you ever felt dismissed during a consultation? What strategies have helped you get the care you need? Share your insights in the comments below—they might be just what someone else needs to navigate a similar situation.

Also read: Too many Australians miss out on essential medical care every year. Here’s how to fix ‘GP deserts’